a lot of people comin to me for some help, advice, caress, or just some plain talk about how was their day turn out so bad, etc. etc. i’ve become a personal diary or something like it. which is i’am thankful of but sometimes you know, there comes a time when i cannot carry it anymore, it’s just like an air going through inside a bubble and i think you know what will happen next if it takes too much.

well it’s just not like me these days, you know what one weakness i have in me, is that i care too much, and i will do whatever i can if whenever I’m available, to help other people, because it simply overwhelms me, whenever someone ask me for help, for me its a way of their trust that i can make things all right.

you know what they always say, that a person can change the future, but how can he?, if the people around him doesn’t want change, what if those people don’t want to help themselves for a better change, what if those people find it hard to chew and swallow their pride, what if those people find it hard to admit their wrong and say sorry, what if? huh? can it really be possible?

it’s not easy being me, it’s not easy to say no to a friend who’s in need, it’s not easy to take the part of being in the middle and balancing things just for the sake of everyone, it’s not easy being neutral specially when your not involve in your friends unpredictable acts.

how can i give advice, to a friend whose in trouble if i am not there when something happened, or if i didn’t really saw what happened, how can i give them advice if they don’t know how to listen or they dont intend to do what they’ve heard, they just see themselves as the right one, and not thinking about why things happened to them, they do not ask themeselves the question “where did i go wrong?”.

I’m sorry if i react this way, you know how much i wanted to help out, but i think i helped you too much, that its time for you to make the right move, i cant think of anything else on how to help each and everyone of you, and so i came up with this plan of action, limited only i you have the chance to read this, but atleast i’ve tried, and i’m gonna make sure you read this.

I’m not a super hero, i’m not a preacher, i’m not your parents, i’m your friend, i don’t know how you’d feel about this, maybe you’ll go mad at me after this but my only wish is for you guys to work things out, help me help you in a way that you make me see that you really want to help yourselves, and not making things more complicated or making small problems go big, big enough that the whole world can see and react to a one sided story, how about the other side? i think everyone should know both sides of the story, the cause and effect.

we all know that life these days is short, i may not be here tomorrow, but at least i have made a stand, this is a hard descision to make because i know that i might lose some of you, but i guess this is my call, and if your going to ask if i think about this before i did it, yes! i did, so many times for so long. i just don’t know when to start.

then one night when i was drunk and had enough, i looked upon the stars above, my guitarist played this song by switchfoot, he wanted me to sing it, and i sung, even though being drunk made me out of tune, i sung it whole heartedly, i thought about you guys as i sing the lyrics, trying to think how happy we were back in the days, i remembered its music video, when the 1 person there, run againts everyone, he tried to see what they are afraid of and running from, even though it’s a bit scary, even though he’s been hit by other people whose running towards him, he tried and he saw how bad it is, he didn’t just stand there and runaway with everyone.

now i see that man in me, i tried to make a change,  i’ve made a move that no one dares to do, i hope you know who am i talking about, there are a lot of you i wanna see at the end, i dont want you guys to be the people who i saw running away from what had happen. can you do it for me? can you do it for yourself?

shit always happens people come on! it’s just how we accept it, and how we welcome how things are in this world. i think we are mature enough to act our age and see things in another level of perspective, and in a higher range of understanding.

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here